I am Sarah. I am a reject.

It turns out that in order to be successful as a writer, there’s a whole code to which must be adhered to avoid your heart-filled work just being binned before an email attachment is even opened!

I have submitted, maybe, 15 serious queries to agents. The early ones were more like notes to friends! I think I’m getting closer to a query submission that reads like it’s from someone who knows what they’re doing. Hopefully.

I like to think that I am following the philosophy of John Dewey, in that I’m ‘Learning by doing’. Some may call me impatient. Am I really ready to submit? Is my work really up to scratch? As good as it can be?

I have kept a record of everything I have submitted. Which stories I’ve sent to which agents. When they were sent, when I should expect a response, when that date has passed (translating to a vaguely dissatisfying ‘no’), when I have received an actual, confirmed ‘no’, what kind of ‘no’ was it; personalised (Dear Sarah), form (Dear Author), helpful (buy a dictionary), positive (I would be happy to look at your work in the future), negative (please never darken my inbox again or I’ll set the dogs on you).

I had been waiting eagerly to get a response from an agent who had actually invited me to submit to her! Until today.

It is, of course, totally unsurprising given the short time I’ve been submitting. The agent in question was thorough. She went to the trouble of dedicating whole paragraphs to each text I’d sent her. She was complimentary, positive about my ideas and offered some incredibly helpful advice on improvement. Before the despondency set in, I penned a chirpy reply expressing my gratitude for her time and thoughtful answer to my query.

It was a rejection. A positive, helpful one but a rejection nonetheless.

Ouch. I’d had high hopes for that one.

So here I am. I’ve disembarked and I’m licking my wounds. Writing my third post on my brand new blog.

I am Sarah. I am a writer.